G-Log

I was having a conversation with a friend at work yesterday and I wanted to get some feedback on this particular topic.

You would think at my age, insecurities would start to diminish somewhat. I’m a married woman and my husband thinks I’m beautiful. So why am I so insecure about my weight? I am in a stable job that I feel I’m fairly good at, and I feel my position is secure for the most part, so why do I worry about my review? I know that I’m loved. Why should I care so much what people think of me? And do I even care about the people whose opinions I care about? It’s certainly not debilitating, but it’s always there, just under the surface. It’s such a strange thing to me. At what age does it start to go away, if ever? Surely when I’m 70 years old I won’t care what other people think, will I?

Maybe my insecurities still exist because I don’t feel like an “adult.” Not that I know what feeling like an adult should feel like, but I don’t feel much different than I did when I was a teenager. I still like the same types of music, though my tastes have expanded somewhat. I still like the same foods, the same activities. I help take care of a home and I’m a mom and I make sure bills get paid and have a full-time job, but all of that seemed like such a natural life progression that it didn’t have as much impact as I thought it would (well, with the exception of the mom part). Or maybe the reality is that everyone has insecurities–we just don’t talk about them as much when we get older. Maybe we get better at hiding them, or denying they are there. Maybe we’re all in the same boat. That would make me feel a little better, anyway.